do i have to name this one?

I never really know what to right when i'm doing these things, but here goes;
lately i've just been so depressed, its like i know whats upsetting me, but i can't do a fucking thing about it. its horrible, because lately i just feel so choked, and i don't know who to talk to, im so scared that if i talk to my friends they won't understand it anymore than me and that i'm just making a huge mistake with my life. i can't really talk to anyone, and anytime anyone asks what wrong with me, i just can't bring myself to tell them. because half the time, even i don't know. and then people get wound up with me and won't leave it. they tell me i'm being immature when all it really is, is that i just can't find the words to explain what i'm feeling to them, but then even when i do, i'm not brave enough to say it out loud. i just think that, if i can't help myself, then how can they help me? I'm rubbish at being open with my feelings, always have been. its just the way i am, but its just beyond lately. and i dont know what to do.